


Signed, Sealed, Delivered

by charmandu



Series: Fixed Point in Time [1]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-24
Updated: 2018-09-24
Packaged: 2019-07-16 13:24:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16086986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charmandu/pseuds/charmandu
Summary: One drunk text takes Jaehwan back to the past so he could be ready for the future.





	Signed, Sealed, Delivered

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, I'm back. I'd like to apologize for finishing this first instead of the other MinHwan fic I'm writing (Making Bacon Pancakes). It's just that this story's draft has been with me for the longest time and I just want to get past the angst.
> 
> I like angst fics bec it makes me feel human. I don't know if you get it but since I'm just a normal girl without that much drama in life, sometimes I just want to feel hurt so I'd know I can still feel, you know? 
> 
> In the middle of writing, I realized that Beautiful somehow resembled what happened to Minhyun and Jaehwan in this story. So I suggest playing it while reading. Another song that inspired the story is Your Song by a band from the Philippines. It's in English so I encourage you to try listening to it. 
> 
> Hope you guys like this.
> 
> PS: thanks to my girlfriend for staying up late with me and beta-ing this

_Sent._

It’s been two years since he last texted this number. He is actually surprised that his message was delivered. He furrowed his eyebrows. Six empty bottles already sit on his table but he grabs another one and lifts it up to drink for the nth time tonight. His phone prompts if he wanted to save the number he typed out of muscle memory. The phone suggests a name, probably since the phone number is connected to the email address of the owner. It says, “Save new contact as Hwang Minhyun?”

_Since when did phones become this smart?_

He reads the message once more: “I should be over you but I just can’t. I still love you so much.”

A tear rolls down his cheeks, unaware that there would be more following. He sniffs silently to avoid any unnecessary attention from the other customers in this small pub in downtown Seoul. Kim Jaehwan is now a household name for his music. His rare blend of all-encompassing music, unwilling to stay in one genre, caught everyone’s heart, young and old, whatever gender.

It is true that it took him longer than other singers or boy groups his age to ascend to popularity. He’s performed in the streets of Hongdae, joined different talent shows, and even trained under an entertainment agency. He’s spent more time singing than talking. It probably wasn’t time yet, not back then. Not until two years ago.

Jaehwan was excited to go to this pub for a few reasons: one, he has some good news (he feels giddy!) and two, he had been craving truffle pasta only this place could serve without putting a dent on his wallet. The corner table seemed ideal so he could rest his guitar case down and have it lean on the wall. The window also served as entertainment for when he got bored waiting for his boyfriend.

He removed his coat then sat. It was the end of November and the weather was starting to get colder. He rubbed his palms against each other to create heat from the friction so he could put them on his cheeks. He could feel the temperature adjust at the touch so he stayed like that for a while. It was soothing to say the least, but Minhyun’s warmth would be better appreciated, thank you very much.

A few more people passed by, faces hidden by the collar of their coats. Minhyun was quite shocked he saw Jaehwan immediately. He stopped to acknowledge him.

Minhyun was looking at him from the window, one hand in his coat’s right pocket and the other was waving at Jaehwan, rather slowly. He was wearing a thicker coat. Jaehwan was instantly worried that his boyfriend would be feeling under the weather today. He knew end-of-month reports were coming soon and Minhyun couldn’t afford to be sick in this critical time.

Jaehwan was smiling back at him when he noticed that the other’s eyes were puffy and a little red. _He cried._ Minhyun’s eye bags were much more visible—eyes lighter than the shade of chestnut looked at him sadly, a stark contrast to the smile plastered on his face.

_Something’s wrong._

Jaehwan called the waiter’s attention to order for a black coffee instead of the pasta he was craving. If they were going to do _it_ here, if he had to be weak, then at least his coffee would be strong. The pub’s bell rang, announcing Minhyun’s entrance to the place. Jaehwan felt the time slow down. He could hear his heartbeat racing, much like the rush of adrenaline in his veins. He either had to face this or just fly away.

At first, he thought to leave. No one readied him for this. Or maybe he should have been more observant and read the signs. Were there signs?

Minhyun sat beside the musician without getting his coat off. Jaehwan felt the distance between them grow. The age difference became apparent as well—he was being treated carefully, like a child handled with care because he’s still innocent and fragile and undeserving of pain.

His throat tightened from the unshed tears. He couldn’t let Minhyun confirm that he can’t be mature about this if he let it out and cried. But how could he not? How could he just throw away six years of life with this man? Minhyun has become his past, his present, all of it in the hopes of what he saw to be their future.

Jaehwan’s fists were balled up on his knees. He was still smiling at Minhyun. Deep inside him, he was hoping that the man beside him wouldn’t talk about what he feared. He had been thinking of many other reasons for Minhyun to be crying. Was he fired? Did someone get personal at work?

But he knew this gentleman wouldn’t cry for those reasons. He was strong and he was very particular in separating feelings from work. Jaehwan had started to feel uneasy and selfish but his heart couldn’t take it to think that something happened to his family. He was not that kind of person, so he brought himself to silently wish for the man beside him to break up with him if that would mean his family would be safe.

Minhyun was looking down at his hands on the table, fidgeting since he sat down. He was trying to start talking but his throat seemed to lack the air to continue to do so. He offered his left hand towards Jaehwan. Jaehwan hesitated to give his hand at first but thoughts of _leaving_ and _last time_ and _regrets,_ he had to take the opportunity. The wooden table felt cold under his arms. His hands easily found their way to Minhyun’s warmth. Jaehwan’s senses heightened before looking up at Minhyun. Tears began to pool in his eyes. One, two, or maybe more escaped his eyes.

These eyes that never looked at anyone else besides Minhyun.

“You’re not leaving, are you?” Jaehwan felt like a machine saying it out loud. He doesn’t recognize his own voice.

“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t save us,” Minhyun looked down, tears falling on his slacks. He held Jaehwan’s hands tighter as if to say that he didn’t want to let go but had to.

Jaehwan’s head was already spinning. He admitted that the past year had been rocky and bumpy and he was not really a good driver to begin with. He was just so thankful Minhyun still stayed, only to find that their course will be in its end. Minhyun had always been the mature one, and Jaehwan acknowledged that from the beginning—but it was either they continue driving only to crash, or both of them could go down from the car on either side.

He had been too hopeful and overwhelmed that he had overlooked all of what’s happening. And in that moment, he finally saw it—he was pulling Minhyun down.

Jaehwan was quick to stop his tears from falling. He wiped each one with the back of his hand, gently wishing for the pain to go away. He almost laughed at what was happening, since it felt a lot like when Minhyun said yes to him six years ago. He was crying too, just like this.

The waiter laid the coffee in front of him silently, not wanting to disturb the tension building up in the lonely corner of the pub. Turned out that it was the perfect spot after all; not for his guitar, but for this breakup.

Both of them were crying harder. Minhyun had cried prior but it was just not enough. Seeing Jaehwan like this hurt him too, especially with the knowledge that he was the reason behind the musician’s tears.

Minhyun had been working for one of the top firms in South Korea. He was good at handling a lot of things at once so having Jaehwan beside him was not seen as a burden to his work. He was there when Minhyun went to different interviews, when he received various emails of rejection and acceptance, when he was called to report for work, and when he was promoted to be a supervisor. He knew it well that he wouldn’t be where he was now if it not for Jaehwan’s support.

But the past year had been _exhausting_. It wasn’t that he lost his patience for the man beside him. He wanted to support him as much as Jaehwan supported him through the years. It was hard to come up with this decision, much more deliver it to him. Then he saw him from outside the pub while he was waiting for him, smiling and looking oh-so excited. He almost dumped the idea, really. He almost ran away and made up an excuse for not going inside the pub when he was already there.

He had seen Jaehwan practice and perform thousands of times. He knew the incredible talent he had and the future waiting for him. His voice was distinct: one that will be remembered easily. Minhyun was the first one to listen and criticize every song Jaehwan made. He was the first one he sees and hears in the morning. He also was the last, just before he closes his eyes, to see Jaehwan contented in his sleep.

He had been to a lot of Jaehwan’s gigs and performances, but the past year was different. He could tell that Jaehwan was getting impatient from his lack of progress. Sure, producers have talked to him and a small group of fans have been following him. But he just couldn’t make it big. There just has to be someone more good-looking or someone better at dancing. Minhyun knew how much this saddens Jaehwan and how it was breaking him. But Jaehwan is strong and Minhyun knows he will not give up on his dreams.

Breaking up with him was inevitable. Minhyun has come to the realization that maybe he was holding Jaehwan back and that he could go farther if he had no one he was leaving behind. Minhyun thought that maybe when their relationship ends, Jaehwan would find himself in his music once more just like when he was fourteen. He would build his dreams for himself, and not with others as considerations. He knew the next day will be offbeat, but he was hopeful Jaehwan would find his melody again.

 “It’s for the better,” Minhyun said before he stood up. Jaehwan held his grip tighter, making him lean down the table, almost spilling the coffee, but Minhyun was adamant to let go.

Jaehwan was trembling, alone in the pub, his coffee getting cold. He didn’t know what to do next or if there will even be a _next_. This was definitely worse than being in a songwriting slump. What even was life after Minhyun?

And then it hit him. He made Minhyun the center of his person. He saw the imbalance and the wrongness and all of what was making it fall apart. He was slowly forgetting that he had his own universe.

He just couldn’t believe this was happening when his career was finally taking off. He was so excited to tell his lover about the contract he was going to sign the next day. The producer was not well known but he had a good feeling about Jaehwan. In fact, the producer duo was only starting and Jaehwan was their first try at the formula they self-made to make it into the popular music arena. Jaehwan didn’t know what they saw in him but he was just thankful there were still people who sees and believed in his talent.

Except the very man beside him, it seems.

Jaehwan stood up and left money for the untouched coffee.

It was an understatement to say that what was happening was ironic. Jaehwan has been wishing for a new chapter in his life, given all of the trials he had been through the past year. He just didn’t expect this plot twist. He thought he and Minhyun were a fixed point in time.

He’d have to battle life alone once more.

Cold breeze cupped his cheeks on the way home. He usually walked on the other side of the road but that was where he and Minhyun usually walked, so he decided to walk here _for a change._ “He’s not with me anymore, anyway,” Jaehwan sighed.

The next thing he knew, tears were falling again, cooling his cheeks. He wore his facemask to hide from the reality that was without Hwang Minhyun. His chest felt like it was going to burst so he walked quickly. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts, away from the exposure of street lights and of couples waiting for the last bus.

 _Nothing without you,_ he thought as he opened the door to their shared apartment, but he paused when he came to the realization that this breakup would be _pointless_ when he really did become nothing without Minhyun—not when Minhyun broke up with him so he could be _more_.

He steadied his guitar case just beside their shoes.

Jaehwan was crying loudly while he got his belongings, stuffing them into the stupidly large luggage he kept under their bed. It was apparently waiting for this day. No one could hear him so Jaehwan cried harder.

He sat on their bed, probably for the last time. He felt the sheets under his hands. It was soft, like every morning waking up next to Minhyun. He’d already be up, reading news from his phone or emailing his staff about their deadline that week. Jaehwan wouldn’t move upon waking up as he liked to ogle at his boyfriend, looking so gentle while sporting that half naked sleepwear. Every morning was just surreal.

He looked around the apartment, making him realize that he didn’t own that much. All of these were Minhyun’s. An ache stabbed on his chest at the realization that he was being a burden to his partner for far longer than he thought.

It was a hard pill to swallow but he had to. Not acknowledging the reality and everything that lead them to this point would just make this break up more bitter than it should be.

Jaehwan laid down for a short while, reaching up for the pillow where Minhyun usually rested his back when he was telling Jaehwan about his day at the office. Jaehwan had Minhyun memorized—his facial expressions, his antics, his kindness, and his wild, wild side. He was sure Minhyun was the same to him. It just so happened that it was exhausting to deal with him so here he was: sniffing his ex’s pillow, saying goodbye to the four corners which housed their love for more than a couple of years.

Minhyun chose to head back to the office rather than go back to their apartment. He knew Jaehwan would need the space to get his thoughts together. The quiet of their office comforted him, anyway. He leaned back against his office chair, staring at the ceiling, recounting the scenes that happened and the words left unsaid. Memories of the time he asked Jaehwan to move in with him came flashing.

It was a beautiful spring day. Passers-by were wearing clothes ready for the heat in the morning and the cold at night. He and Jaehwan walked the streets of Hongdae, waiting for sundown so he could perform with the street lights on and with people rushing in around him to listen. Minhyun would take his hand rather secretly when the number of people who care became bearable. He often wished he could do it forever.

Jaehwan met with some of his friends who agreed to help in his performance in front of a store selling the latest clothes. There was a barbeque place in its rooftop and people were always trying to get in line. This was the first spot where he performed in when he started pursuing a career in music. Minhyun knew this so he thought this would be the perfect time to ask him _the question_.

Minhyun was in front of the crowd, waiting patiently. Jaehwan was trying to get his guitar pick from his thin jacket when he felt something cold and metal. It’s a key.

Jaehwan took it out, quickly examining it and he noticed a note tied with a violet ribbon saying, “Move in with me?” He immediately looked up at Minhyun who winked at him, making him the color of a ripe tomato.

“Jinjia?” Jaehwan mouthed, before finally nodding.

Jaehwan’s band took this as the sign to start the performance. Jaehwan was caught off guard and started panicking. Minhyun only laughed, small tears both on the side of his eyes. He was so happy that night and he swore that night’s performance was Jaehwan’s best so far.

He knew it was a bad idea to walk back down on memory lane. His coat suddenly felt very tight and his hands were becoming sweaty. Their lives had been intertwined, interlaced, and woven in millions of ways. Undoing the knots would be painful and difficult. Very difficult. It would be impossible to be back to who they were before meeting each other. Their dents were already permanent and it would be hard not to hiss at the emptiness exposed in the gaps previously filled by the other. How could he survive this?

Jaehwan finished packing. He would go to his friend, Ha Sungwoon, first and figure out the rest tomorrow morning. He was going to sign a contract anyway so let it be both for realty and for his music career. The new chapter he had been wishing for was finally here.

With heavy luggage on one hand and guitar on the other, Jaehwan sighed heavily and walked out to the streets. Good thing he was wearing his Doc Martens as there was a light rain shower in the area. The universe was helping him wash away everything. Probably everything he won’t need for the path he was choosing so he promised himself not to think about Hwang Minhyun.

Until today.

Today is a different story. He wants to let it all out in the hopes of fully recovering from the pain, the grief, all that he was unable to feel in the past two years. It would be unfair for him if he doesn’t. All the focus on his career thing is taking its toll. He misses feeling the rain on his skin, the sunshine on his scalp, and the breeze on his cheeks. He just wants to feel again. Be _human_.

So he’s letting himself mourn for one night and he prays everything will be easier to accept tomorrow morning that there’s no going back. ‘Them’ will be ‘you’ and ‘I’. Their red string would be severed fully. They could meet again, of course, the industry is too small, anyway. But at least he’s moved on when they meet. And he knows where he stands.

Jaehwan has established himself in the two years he spent working towards the success of his career. The efforts were primarily so he could achieve his dreams. It was long overdue anyway. Putting all of his efforts to music would get himself away from thinking about his past, about how shocked he was that they had to end for _the better._

Sometimes he hears from friends about him. Especially after the fateful day when he-who-must-not-be-named was apparently promoted to Division Head. _Maybe we both need this._ It was the last push that made Jaehwan decide not to look back anymore and only aspire for the future he deems unpredictable.

He is still fresh from his fan meetings around Asia and he’s using this one day of rest to get drunk and be a normal human being who feels hurt and pain and all the bad things that burden his sad, sad heart. He has to let this out. The heartbroken songs he released were sadder than Adele’s and he’s quite scared his fans will get tired of all the mourning Jaehwan had just realized was _his whole career_. Which was ironic of course, as he was trying to get away from that one person. Turns out he still became his inspiration. Joke’s on him.

He knows he has to move on from this image even if just a little. Progress is progress. For the next album, maybe three sad songs would suffice, four about falling in love, and one dedicated to his friends and fans who remained with him in the past two years of his career. He’s not Sam Smith, anyways.

Almost an hour has passed after sending the stupid message. He’s more than drunk right now and he prays to god that he’d still be able to go home. Hopefully no one would recognize him.

He’s been stupidly sitting in the same table they occupied when they broke up. The same corner where he put his guitar case. The very same table he leaned onto, not letting his ex’s hand go. This was just in another level of Jaehwan’s stupidity. This bar of stupidity is so high, he should never attempt to top this one anymore.

You see, Jaehwan’s decided that he’d treat this day as the time he buries his feelings for his ex-lover. He even wore a suit and a tie to pay his respects. Two white roses sit on the chair beside him. Jaehwan is staring at it when the chair suddenly moved back. His vision was already dizzy so he wasn’t sure if this is him hallucinating or if the waiter wanted him to stop drinking already. Jaehwan slowly looks up. Since when did his head become this heavy? Is it his bangs? He lets out a lazy gasp that sounded fake after seeing who the cause of movement was.

Hwang Minhyun is standing near him, holding the chair. He says something that seemed to need an answer. Jaehwan uttered a small “sure” only to realize that the man has asked him if he could occupy the chair. Minhyun is still trying to catch his breath when he sat down. Did he run here? His hair is quite damp as well. (He’ll learn later that it was due to premature snowing.)

Jaehwan is too nervous to open his mouth. Would he puke? Nine bottles worth of alcohol could come out. Wouldn’t that be a sight. He can feel his racing heartbeat all over his body; his right hand involuntarily goes against his chest, as if to prevent his heart from jumping outside and presenting itself to Minhyun, like a lost puppy waiting for its master. He realizes that he didn’t have a plan at all about this moment. _Stupid._

Hell, he didn’t even know he’ll show up here. How did he know he’ll be here out of all the places they’d like to visit together when both of them are feeling down?

He could’ve gone to that one park bench at the top of N Seoul Tower where Jaehwan usually goes to when they fought and would like to clear his head. He’d run up instead of taking the cable car. Minhyun taught him that exercising is a good way to dispense anger, anyway. He would see Seoul in all its glory up there, no matter what time of the day it is. It was always easier to point out all the mistakes he did after feeling so small. Minhyun would come fetch him after an hour or two and they’ll make up, which always ended up in a beautiful love making that night.

Or you know, he could’ve gone to that ice cream place where Jaehwan likes to punish his throat after a bad performance. He liked the pastel-colored walls and the tiny clouds hanging from the ceiling. Minhyun would always rescue him there and give him his thermos with ginseng tea instead. Minhyun’s always happy to catch him there since it means he’ll finish the cone that Jaehwan started.  

But he’s here. He’s here where they broke up, where all of the bad memories melt into yet another heavy weight in his sad, sad heart, trying their best to pull Jaehwan lower than where he is now.

Oh god. Seeing him for the first time again in two years makes Jaehwan want to hug him so tightly, to make up for the lost times. Two years is along time, entirely too long, and it felt like a stretched alternate universe.

He wants to tell him he’s been brave and he’s fought the battles by himself. He wants to smell him again and call him his. To ask him if they could try again. To let him know he’s been fooling himself when he said he could do it without him.

He just couldn’t pin why Minhyun’s here when Jaehwan’s supposed to be cleaning up his mess of a life and move on starting tomorrow.

He looked at him, more closely this time. Minhyun is holding the two roses previously on the chair where he currently sits. Jaehwan wants the flowers for his feelings’ funeral only to realize that it was definitely saying something else. _Come back._

Both of them thought they have everything figured out. Jaehwan thought focusing his energy on his career was alright. Minhyun thought letting Jaehwan go would finally align the different paths they took.

What they’re seeing now in each other’s eyes is that they need each other more than ever right now. Especially since everything seems to be falling into place, finally—Minhyun’s doing good in the company and Jaehwan has a stable music career.

They look at each other and everything clicks—it feels like coming home, once again, _finally,_ after two years of being apart from each other; two long years, and the stars have finally aligned. The roads that they wanted to build for themselves have diverged at one point, but now, those same roads finally meet again, and a time together—forever—lies over at the horizon. There are a lot of questions now, but they have tomorrow and the day after that. Jaehwan is still drunk but he is sure he’s making the right decision when he pulls Minhyun into a kiss.

What Minhyun and Jaehwan had was beautiful, but their future now is much, much more.

“I missed you and I still love you too. So much,” Minhyun breathes after the kiss.

“We’ve grown and we’ve grown, apart,” Jaehwan agrees. “It’s time to grow together.” He seals the deal with one more kiss.

Minhyun and Jaehwan are a fixed point in time, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you feel. I only have like one or two Minhwan mutuals so I spazz alone most of the time. I'm @charmandu27 on Twitter!


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